Reflection Part 2, and A Look Forward


Well happy belated New Years, I did plan on one last post before the New Year, but as you can see, well shit happens. After a hard wipe out on the ice on Monday and treatment and blood work done on Tuesday….well I was kinda spent. not an excuse for not writing, but that’s just the way the year went out for me, along with some cancelled plans for a nice New Years dinner with the wife, which lead to some take out and a night of basically binging Yellowstone on Prime. Not the celebration we had thought about doing, but hey spending the night in with loved ones is also hard to beat.

So my original thought for this post would be another look back at 2021, and some more reflecting, which I’ll do by including some more of my favourite pictures from the year past. Now 2021 was a year like no other, in a few different ways, once again we all had to deal with Covid, as we do again right now and depending on where you’re from that was done in many different ways. As for myself for the past six months my Cancer has been stable (good), I’ve had symptoms of slight pain, upset belly and after treatment I get pretty fatigued now for a few days following, along with a very sore ass. The first six months were much now up and down as I dealt with two hospitalizations due to bowel obstructions, both are written in past posts and are something I would wish upon nobody. Along with that my lab work results were very inconsistent and led to quite a few CT scans, which are also no fun, but are part of life….forever. Now this of coarse sucks, but as I’ve said before I’m very grateful to have access to care like this.

I have also taken coarse’s and spoken to doctors on how to deal with the stress and anxiety that comes along with the palliative diagnosis I now have and writing this blog is also a way to alleviate some of the stress and worries that build up inside. Also now that I have transferred onto Long Term disability I need to try to keep my system of habits in order not to a state of, I guess I would call it being lost and really sure of what I’m supposed to do now. I have lots of time now to make sure I eat properly, follow an exercise routine and really dig into ways and research how to better my body in order to live with this disease. I’m known to be easily distracted so, the first order of business is too work on my focus, which I’m sure Tracy would love as well. As the colder months are now here in southwestern Ontario I have plenty of material to go through and sort out what is relevant to me. The problem with such a rare type of cancer is the limited material, but as the time has gone along here I tend to find more and more info and do find some types that can relate to what I have.

What I spend a lot of my time doing this time of year is researching and prepping for this years canoe camping trips, which this year I hope to call a few expeditions. Now I (we) already have a few plans in place, but putting in the time a really checking out where your going can really enhance the trip, making sure I have the right maps, flow of water, campsite areas, fishing spots and potential dangers i.e. falls and rapids. There is a lot that really does go into it, but the most fun part of it is checking out my equipment and ordering the stuff I need to upgrade too, and for some reason every year I see to need new and better stuff….hmmm?

I think the accomplishment I’m most proud of is right here, what you’re reading now. Looking back at my prior life if you’d asked me if one day I’d be writing and blog to share my life, I would’ve laughed at ya and said “Your kidding me” and that’s the polite way. Having this disease has changed me in many ways, and in other ways not….it’s weird how to explain it. Sharing my experiences although not always easy, has helped me along the way and hopefully someone reading this knows their not alone, what they are struggling with. I will continue to blog and invite anyone to follow along, I’m still learning this as I go along, and can’t believe it’s been 8 months already. I don’t have a huge following and don’t make any money and honestly don’t care, I write this to help myself and help others try and understand what life is all about. This reality never crossed until I found out my life is going to be cut short, but I feel how short that is depends on me and what I do with this now limited time I face.

This years posts will be more of the up and downs I face, starting early with a CT scan on January 12th, fun, fun. Hopefully to add in some more tripping and travel blogs along the way. I will add more habits to my system here to keep me in check, and away from the television, spent to much time in front of that over the holidays. Most importantly it will be real, raw….I have nothing to hide and will be honest with my readers….maybe even some creative writing I’ve worked on will make a debut, who know’s? Life’s to short to worry about what others think…just be yourself…..All the best in 2022….Enjoy the following pictures as I try to recap my year. Cheers!

5 thoughts on “Reflection Part 2, and A Look Forward

  1. Happy belated new year! I laughed at the part where you mentioned never imagining how you would write on a blog but how cool that you are now. I get the thing with time you struggle with. Culture tells us to make the most of each moment and to be productive, but that’s tiring.
    One thing I’m doing this year is taking a slower approach: “slow and steady wins the race.”
    Keep us updated on your Jan. 12th scan. Wishing you the best and positivity!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thank you, fingers crossed for stable results. And thanks for the feedback, I try and add a little humour, never quite sure if it works out, being so new to writing. I’m glad you laughed. I try to slow my moments down, but boy it’s very hard to control time unfortunately, happy new year as well and all the best.

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      1. Time flies…it’s a little crazy how quickly it passes. I’m trying to keep a good perspective about it too and do at least one thing a day that makes me happy. Take care and stay safe!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks for sharing your journey with others who may be facing palliative disease. I know there are many stages and you are very good at describing each of the steps to accepting the diagnosis and prognosis and taking control of how you will live your life. It takes courage to look your disease in the proverbial eye and then choose to live the best life you can. My sister Marianne Astle shared your blog with me and I am happy she did. I myself have been trained as a palliative care volunteer and have had the privilege to listen and have heart to heart conversations with patients and families who navigate through some very difficult medical situations and decisions. It has also made me acutely aware of how to live and be present day to day. I love the addition of puctures as well . Stay safe Stephen and continue on your journey and hold loved ones close as love is everything! ❤️❤️Adele

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Wow, thanks for that. I’m sure listening to those heart to heart and very heavy conversations it would at first drain you, but after reflecting those many conversations gives you an outlook most people will never understand until it’s too late. I would also like to thank you for the job you volunteer to do, without caring people like you doing it only too help out of the goodness of your heart, many people during life’s toughest moment would be lost, sad and scared. I do have a palliative diagnosis and understand what that means, however at this moment I still feel physically well most days and try to squeeze the most out of every moment. I’m sure happy someone like you will be there when needed. All the best!

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