Shrinkage, How Did We get Here?

Since my last post I’ve put a lot of thought and did some digging into just why I had one of my larger tumours shrink and after 2 and a half years. I had some of my readers ask me if I’ve done anything differently or been on a new treatment plan and the answer to that is no. Besides I would’ve been posted about any change to my care here on the blog, as my goal is to be very open and honest on just about any aspect in my life, especially when it comes to Cancer. So, let me tell you what I found and also what in my heart feels like happened, even if this shrinkage is temporary, it won’t be, but just to be a realist let’s just throw that out there.

The Medicine

This all comes down to trust between the Doctor, patient and the whole team involved in care and with the price of Cancer medication who wouldn’t be a little skeptical nowadays. Enter in big Pharma who produces it, along with media stories and documentaries and just false information on social platforms it always seems to be questioned and yes I watched “Painkiller” on Netflix, unreal. Now my medicine is much different, Sandostatin has been around for a long time and I believe it recently was sold, or something along those lines…anyways not the point here. The drug is primarily used to control carcinoid syndrome and give relieve from certain symptoms, the main one being severe diarrhea also flushing and to help stop the tumours from spreading, making them non-functioning. I get the Sandostatin LAR, which is the long lasting inter muscular injection and if you’ve followed along you understand the procedure, not fun. Obviously though it’s working and without this as part of the treatment plan, who knows where I would be right now or what type of quality of life would I have, so I am grateful. Oh, also this drug besides just helping curb symptoms it is said it can also (sometimes) temporarily shrink tumours and after all this time is that the only reason it shrank? I believe it definitely is part of the reason, but let’s look at how else this could have been achieved.

Stress

This is a huge problem in today world, let alone when having a disease trying it’s best to grow and reproduce inside you, feeding it at will. I am by no means a stress free guy, just ask my family, but I have done my best to minimize it in my life. I talk with a Physiatrist close to every month, free of charge from the Juravinski centre (an Invaluable resource) and I do take a small prescription of an anti-anxiety medication, just to help take the edge off. I try to take ten minutes a day to be mindful and thankful for what I have, exercise and strength train to help keep the body strong and that in itself reduces stress a great deal. Downsized our home, making life more affordable therefore less money stress, two older, but paid for vehicles my (our) life is more about experiences not things and besides camping gear I don’t buy much. Enjoying what you are blessed to have and not constantly trying to think of all the things you don’t really need just seems to loosen the chest and makes breathing easy and not so forced. Minimizing is one of the best things we’ve done as a family and still continue to work on that and always will.

What goes into my body

While I’m by no means going to lie to you here and say I eat the healthiest of diets and exercise every day and you know what? That doesn’t work either. For one thing who on earth can afford to eat those type foods everyday and no I don’t take any supplements either. When I was first diagnosed the first thing to come to mind was how do I change my diet to fight this, I bought books, listened to podcasts, you name it I tried it. Now I am by no means a doctor or nutritionist or claim to be, but looking back at some of the info I was getting, neither were these people and for the first year or so I found myself sicker, fatigued, very underweight and worse of all more stressed out than ever.

After I’d say…that first year and my last bowel obstruction I took the advice from a surgeon who saw me in emergency, He said son, “You many being trying to starve cancer, but what you’re doing is starving yourself.” What I finally realized is that while those type diets may work for some patients and types of cancer, it wasn’t working for me and at 6’3″ and 165lbs I felt, well…like shit. What I’ve done now for the past year and a half has been to eat; wait for it, a well balanced diet, for the most part. Drinking plenty of water, mixed sometime with lemon (to help out the liver) and don’t deprive myself of anything. There is a short list of certain foods I don’t tolerate anymore I think losing three feet of bowel may play a part in, but who knows and losing broccoli, cauliflower and those type foods isn’t going to make me shed any tears. I now walk around about 180lbs and most importantly feel good most days.

Sleep

Often an overlooked part of treatment, sleep is key in recovery and treatment. Often I thought people who napped were just lazy, I now gladly eat my words and although sometimes put up a fight, when needed I nap. Most people I know have a hard time sleeping, stress, late night eating, booze or whatever the cause, you need to sort it out especially with an underlying health condition. Since becoming accepting of this diagnosis I have to live with and that I can live with it, sleep comes pretty easy and nights when it doesn’t I practice sleep mindfulness. Peacefully reminding myself that tomorrow will be a great day and the past day is just that, the past. While sleeping out under the stars my not be for everyone, there’s nothing like it, trust me. It does take a couple days to adjust to complete silence, but after that and days spent outside (where we are supposed to be) sleep comes easy and not just that, waking up feeling completely rejuvenated, ready and excited to see what the day ahead brings. SLEEP!

Passion

I feel too many of us are sick basically because the passion for living has disappeared, wrapped up in what we think we have to do (That was me spot on before) instead of what we want to do. My passion for my family, writing for you, adventure running and helping others. Whether it’d be telling my story or sitting down to listen to someone having a hard time helps me by helping someone else rediscover that love for life so many have lost. The remoteness of spending time alone or with others camping, canoeing or hiking in nature is a natural medicine that cannot be explained only experienced, living on what you can only carry on your back is so liberating and freeing. No social media or news telling how bad things are, or only if you work harder you’ll achieve so much more, always for a price…bull shit. You can find happiness and passion if you’re willing enough to just look deep inside yourself and find that spark and once you add passion to that spark you’ll feel that fire of life come back to you, just like when you were kid and those training wheels came off the bike for the first time.

Take a look at the pictures above and tell me that’s not some kind of medicine, swimming in the lake, bare feet walking through the bush, grounded. I truly believe in the healing power of spending time on the water in the bush, the adventure of the unknown, the crack of branch, something big in the forrest being part of it is a blessing I don’t take for granted. All of the above is the reason why this disease has not overwhelmed my body and life. I have a great team staring with family, friends, medical team and support group, but ultimately it’s up to me (you) to find that passion and maybe it will shrink your tumour, whatever that may be. I’d like to thank all of you for the very kind words and positive feedback from the last post, that is more fuel that just stokes this fire and it’s just getting started! Please comment, like, vote and share this content if you like it. Cheers, Steve