How is it that so much time seems to slip away between my posts? This has been a passion of mine now for almost, count em, three years and it certainly doesn’t feel that long. In the battle with time slipping away I think we, at least I do, feel like this is a war that cannot be won and in hindsight of course I know that my (our) time here is finite. However, the struggle while we’re here is the attempt to slow things down and do our best to enjoy the time we have and the life we are given, no matter the roadblocks in the way. In the last few months that has been magnified by the loss of friends in our support group and also the struggle of some I follow closely online, knowing that at anytime my disease can take a sudden turn for the worse. We all do our best to deal with the stress that comes with everyday life and those stressors just seem to get worse and worse. I believed at one time I lived in the best country in the world, but lately those thoughts have wavered seeing what has been going on, in our own backyards here in Canada.
Now I am a proud Canadian, don’t get me wrong and so far the benefits still outweigh the problems that we as a society have seen increase dramatically over the past few years. I’m still fortunate to receive very good health care and the support I need when it comes to the struggle of dealing with a Cancer diagnosis. I have a great team of doctors, nurses and support groups to help make me feel comfortable and normal (I guess for a lack of better wording) as possible given what eventually will be a dire outcome, but a long way off. Those resources have helped move those thoughts to the back of my mind and turned my attention to what is left to accomplish in this life that many take for granted. Like I have said before having this disease has opened my eyes to who part of me truly is and honestly it’s not who I thought it was four short years ago, a traveller and explorer live inside me and when I’m unable to get away I’m drawn to books and tales of adventure both new and old. I enjoy being an advocate and speaker letting people know that now is the time to enjoy your journey in this life, cancer can free you from the person you thought you had to be. I’m still learning that everyday trying my absolute best at not being negative, but boy that’s a hard habit to break after it being such a big part of my life for so many years. Learned only by me and my experiences before a life altering diagnosis turned my life upside down, but also allowing me to start to act and think in a different way, one I struggle with daily.
I don’t set goals in my life as so many of us do, I find that when certain expectations aren’t reached it really only make us feel even worse about the life we are trying to obtain. Instead I focus on habits and even just small ones at that, habits that try to drive me to that one area in life I want to be, HAPPY. Even these simple tasks I set upon myself sometimes seem insurmountable, eating healthy (food costs don’t help), reading, writing, and exercising, why is it so difficult to keep these simple habits? These very same habits are the ones that possibly can help extend my life, it’s because we (me) are so easily distracted by simple, mind numbing things at our fingertips from the TV remote, social media and ALL the content on there, now that being said some is informative and useful, I wouldn’t be able to promote this blog or YouTube channel without it, so it’s a fine line to balance I find. I’m as guilty as anyone watching videos until late in the evening, instead of opening my laptop or getting out my mat to stretch out this ever aging body.
My travels have started to show me that living with much less can lead to a much more fulfilling and happier life, if your happiness is a big home with all the toys then so be it, I’m not one to judge. Through my minimal travels to places like Mexico and yes there is a lot of poverty, but we are now really seeing it here as well. Living amongst the locals and at hostels has taught me that I need less than I even have now. I have never seen such a relaxed and for the most part happy culture, never in a rush, a lot of smiles and what I can tell very simple, enjoyable lives with family all involved. When it comes to my true love, canoe camping, while some days are stressful and definiety a grind, the amount of “stuff” I need is so minimal it’s just a backpack full of gear and food, along with a simple canoe and you can’t wipe that smile off my face, even in mud up to my knees. My goal this year will to bring along more camera equipment to film and bring you along for the journey. I had thought about doing that for my latest Mexico getaway, but decided to just write about it, which I also have more to do yet because I’d like to explain just how inexpensive you can travel and put away any myths about travelling around solo in Mexico outside the resorts, let me tell ya the people are awesome.
Bottom line is good habits are very hard to keep and require a lot of discipline and being able to forgive yourself when you fall off the routine is key, bad habits are so damn easy to keep because it just requires you to live within your comfort and the next day just rolls into the next until, boom! The good years in your life come to an end and you’re left wishing you tried to squeeze more out of life when the chance was there to seize it. Reward yourself when you follow that habit you want to keep up with, be proud of yourself, you are allowed to feel that way. The habits I’ve been able to keep up on since returning from from my travels are morning meditation, almost everyday and when I forget or don’t I can tell by my mood. As for exercising I’ve ramped up my push up routine, but as for jogging I seem to have this nagging foot injury that just won’t heal correctly, very frustrating and I’ve journalled almost every night. If there was one habit I would tell people to start, it’s to try and do a daily journal put your days feelings down on paper either good or bad and leave them there. Starting the next day with a fresh empty page and with it possibly a new outlook, not everyday will be a good one, that’s part of life and we’ll never really know what a good day is without all the shitty ones to learn from.
Cancer Won't Run My Life 