The In Between Week

Hello everyone, so this is the two times a year I call the inbetween week, the week of waiting. Cat scan was last week, along with lab work, then next week I head down to Brantford to see my Oncologist and get the results, fun! It’s during this week that I can find myself getting restless, trying to fill the days with activities instead of staring out my window or mindnumbinly binging shows I don’t even really like just to pass the time. Even though I have the time coming up with an interesting post seems like a chore and the keyboard just isn’t talking to me. However, during the past week I was doing some back end cleaning up of my site when I came across an email a few months old, one that I was sure I had responded to. I do get some very interesting emails from some great readers and I hope if you have taken the time to write to me I have replied, if I haven’t I apologize and feel free to send again.

I sent back an email to this man who had sent me a message about a book he had written and was interested if I’d like to read the synapsis ( I think that’s the right word ) before it was released for sale. Now this is the first time I have ever been asked to do something like this and was more than surprised and honored that someone would like my opinion. After I sent that email, I think it was about an hour when Roger got back to me the book already had a release date, but still went ahead and sent all the info about it. My explanation of it won’t do the book justice so I’ll just leave a link here, trust me even if your not a Cancer patient your going to want to order this book. A story about a group of Cancer patients who Dragon boat for the Nationals. Just hit the link, you won’t be sorry and pre-order your copy, who doesn’t need a feel good story in their lives right now. A few other topics of interest have come from this, but I’m still at that start of these new relationships with other NET organizations that I hope to learn from and bring back to my own group.

As interesting as it was to learn about my new friend Roger via email the very next day we actually met using zoom. This is what I always wanted this blog to accomplish, reach people from different countries and have meaningful conversations. We shared the love of writing and found it fascinating that after he was diagnosed in 2005 he also felt a pull to learn how to write and reach people through the power of a story. He is one of the few I have talked to after going through rounds of PRRT ( in Germany ) that didn’t really work. Found a doctor in the U.S. who started using chemotherapy embolization, don’t ask me to fully explain it, but basically because his NETS were in the liver it’s a targeted treatment directed at the tumors and for him it worked. I believe he has been NED ( no evidence of disease ), that what i think he said for close to ten years now, Roger you can correct me if I’m wrong. This is welcoming news to anyone fighting this disease, as lately, in our group anyway to many good people have lost their battle and to hear a story with a positive ending is well…encouraging. So, go back up to the last paragraph and hit that highlighted, here, and order that book!! Thanks for the Great talk, it’s always inspiring to meet someone with a positive outlook, makes me want to sit and write a book as well.

What else keeps me busy?

Sticking to my habits during this time of year is important as it takes the focus off the wait…Meditating every morning is becoming easier and I’m slowing learning how to visualize how I want my day to go, or at least keeping emotions in check. Ah, you know what? That’s not true, keeping emotions in check is the opposite of what I mean, see I’m learning. What I should have said is, happiness of excellence is the work of emotional resilience, this is often avoided because of a deep discomfort, a feeling so great that is seems unattainable. The reward also isn’t instantaneous as we all crave instant and absolute gratification in this day and age. Like running there’s no instant high, it comes after the lungs have been burning, legs ache and feel like stone, unwilling to continue, keep at it and practice soon is automatic that sensation of pain is taken over by that runners high people speak of, but it’s not instant and requires a lot of time and work. Something the brain needs to learn, then the mind begins to open up to the possibility of what you are really capable of. This work is not easy and requires discipline, something that I never had much of either, but it’s coming and with it the gratification of every minute, hour or day. Still trying to be present in the moment.

In other small news I kept my habit of push ups during the month and am at about 200 per day, which has helped me put on about 5 lbs. Which is bittersweet cause it sure makes running that much harder carrying around more weight. I’ve done my nightly journal, even a two line entry is enough to keep that habit up, as the feeling of guilt creeps in if I’m staring at it before I close my eyes. I think I’ve also read more in the last month than ever before, clearing my mind making me more focused and mentally sharper. I’d like to say I did I dry February as well, but that’s not to be, but I’ll pass that blame onto some of my friends, their such bad influences…Lol…love you guys. So, I leave it with that for now, if you noticed I haven’t included many pictures lately, well it’s bleak and muddy brown around here now rest assured new pictures will come with better weather. Attached below is one of my YouTube videos only about 10 views away from 1,000 so help me out, also need 10 more subscribers to get to 100. I now that’s the big time, LOL. Cheers everyone.