First of all I’d like to thank all of you for the many comments I’ve received lately, it makes me truly happy when I receive any kind of feedback and gives me that extra push to get back in front of the computer. It’s not always the easiest this time of year to sit and give you something that I would think is worth your precious time reading. My goal in the summer, as you know is to create so content on my YouTube channel and yet not neglect were my creative side began, right here! Learning to write and connect with people whether they are dealing with cancer in their lives or some other form of life altering experience has truly become a passion of mine and I’m always here for anyone. Today’s post is just a quick update to the many health related issues I’ve been going through, which isn’t really a lot.
Where are we with Treatment?
After meeting with the doctors in London, Ontario a few weeks ago, man how time flies, I got a call from the specialist letting me know that after the tumour board met that they weren’t all in full agreement my treatment needed to progress further to the PRRT therapy. Both a good and bad thing, bad because the main scan they needed to determine my needs wasn’t sent in yet from Toronto. So, the decision was made without all the information that was needed, but on the up side it should be there when the board meets again in a weeks time and they can make a more informed decision. The good part is the fact that based on all my lab work and CAT scans there isn’t enough progression or spread, so we just stay the course and continue with what has been working, the Sandostatin shots, which is still the first line of defence and after more than four years of battling this disease really is a good thing that this is still working. But, like I said because of the more activity in some of the cancer cells shown on the latest Gallium 68 scan the decision is incomplete, so although most of that is good news it leaves me in a state of what’s next? I may not look like it, but I’m a classic over thinker and have a real hard time with the unknown sometime and the next post will contain a poem I’m currently writing about that now. I do that generally when I’m out in the bush and with zero distractions, besides fishing the isolation and solace can put me in a place where my writing can flourish and it won’t be long until I’m out again. To basically sum it up I sit here and wait for an update, which can play games with your mind.
Dealing with My Mental Health
As you read in my last post I was able to get out and complete a canoe route that I really had my eye set on this year and it ended up being very close to my favourite trip I’ve ever done in the backcountry. I have been fine and have really learned to open up about my struggles, as I have come to the stark realization that this will be a battle and part of my life going forward. Like I said before I believe I always had some anxiety my whole life, but after a cancer diagnosis it just brought everything to the surface and boiled over to a point where I didn’t know how to control or for a better word would be deal with the emotions, your never really in control of such deeply embedded pain or that lost feeling I tend to call it. Even after conquering the trip I bailed on and that wave of accomplishment washed over me, there is still periods and lengths of time when that sadness is just uncontrollable. Now that I have no problem opening up to my loved ones and along with the doctor and social worker the hospital has put me in touch with I have a better toolbox to reach into and find the help required and like fixing a home, everyone in that toolbox plays an important part, including myself. I have learned that these feeling will come and go, but if they stay then we have a problem and major factor in feeling well is to stick to what has always worked for me, running, exercising and meditation, along with reading and journalling. In fact I recently received a book in the mail from my friends and group members Joanne and her hubby John about running and mindfulness. Which when I’m done reading I’ll give the full rundown on, but the first few chapters have really spoken to me…more on that later, but a big thank you to them. It does really show that the world is full of good people!
One thing to add to the importance of feeling mentally and physically well I searched back in my archives of old videos I made when I first grabbed my camera and went out camping. I found what I think was my first solo trip and it didn’t go as planned either, so what I did was upload it to show that not everything in life is always going to go as planned and nor should it. The importance of recognizing when you’re not doing well is something people need to learn that they can live with, it’s accepting it that can be a real challenge. It is for me, showing venerability and weakness is not an easy thing to do, but has helped me grow as a person and in turn has slowly started to make me a better human being and isn’t that what most of us want to be.
Now I have been hard at work here behind the computer, not easy during the summer and have put together another video. This is my first trip of the year in 2024, now not the I redeemed myself on this one takes place during mid- March and was a great trip. I hope you enjoy the video, editing is still not my strong suit. Cheers!
Cancer Won't Run My Life 