Embracing Change and Resilience in Nature: Journal Entry Day 3

Still Dealing with Anxiety

I have just returned from my first solo canoe camping trip of the season, hence the reason for the time between posts (no service out there). I’m going to post this time an entry from my journal I keep while I’m out in the backcountry, I promise I’ll get back to finishing off the rest of my Mexican journey. I’m not going to lie every time before I take one of my trips I get riddled with anxious anxiety and I’m not sure why? I have done many of these trips over the years, I have all the right gear and I would say some pretty good wilderness “smarts” . It’s just that I almost try and talk myself out of going, still trying to find a reason to stay home and all the comforts it provides…until with words of encourage from my wife I awaken early in the morning with my gear packed start the car and head north. After that initial push and I’m out on the water I then realize all that self-doubt is only in one place, my mind. Life is a journey and then it ends, so you need to embrace change, failure and be resilient along the way otherwise like grains of sand running through your fingers, time will just slip away and we’ll be left thinking…what if I just tried that? Why didn’t I do it, instead of just thinking about it? For me 51 is just around the corner and it feels like I just got done celebrating my 50th and with cancer in the back of my mind it’s a tough pill to swallow. I’m grateful I got out again to the simplest way of living and thankful for the push I needed.

Journal Entry Day 3 – Biggar Lake

I have just finished taking an extra ten minutes today to meditate and reflect on the day that was, the time spent and the journey yet to come. Opening my eyes to a crisp blue sky, dotted with puffy white clouds, the wind has changed direction and the breeze helps to keep the bugs at bay. A merganser squacks and quacks as he lands only about twenty feet away, behind me the forest is alive with sounds, calls from birds, robins, thrushes and sparrows just to name a few. In the distance across the lake the distinctive chattering of a woodpecker looking for lunch, the bush is alive and it awakens my senses it takes about this amount of time, three days to become more a tuned to this nature. The grey sky has moved off and with that it brings in more beauty, in front of my site the water calmly lapping the shore and across the bay a picture perfect view of pines, birch, cedars and maples rising up the hill from the lakes edge. A landscape so vast and yes I’m ready to explore, tomorrow I’ll load up my canoe and with paddle in hand go and see more off what this gem of a park has for me to see and feel free. Though hard work lay ahead it’s all part of the journey I feel alive and that is all that matters.

The journey can be a grind and make you want to quit, but resilience can win the the rewards feel very sweet

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