Where it all Started

Imagine sitting at home a month after surgery, in the middle of a pandemic, the phone rights and it’s the hospital. On the end of the line is an Oncologist you’ve never met before. ” Can you talk now Stephen? I have important results from the pathology report following your surgery. The rest of the call is a blur, except for the fact that I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Neuroendricine tumors and I have 10 to 15 years to live. I sat on my bed for a good half an hour in shock before I dial the phone to let those closest to me know. It was the worst day of my life.

Now that you know what my terminal disease is my posts will explain how, what, when and where, but the one answer that I may never get is why? Those first few weeks the why question just ate me up. Why am I going through this? Why do I now have to take treatment, for the rest of my life? Why the scans? Why the lab work?

Then a funny thing happened I stopped feeling sorry for myself and I asked myself, ” Why can’t you learn to live with this and I’m fortunate to be able to get the help and treatment I need. I’m not sure if other cancer patients will tell you this, but after the initial shock wore off and extreme sense of focus seemed to consume me and I began taking stock of my life and with what TIME I have left what will I do with it. I began reading and writing, way more then I ever did in school, lol. In this blog I will try and take you step by step, what I remember, to where I am a year now into dealing with this rare disease.

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