I’m Still Here

It’s Saturday morning as I sit here and right this latest post, I thought it had been a bit since I wrote a blog, but was a little shocked to see the last one was exactly three weeks ago on August 1st. It just reminds me that there is no controlling time and just how quickly it seems to pass by. That being said I’m happy to be back here sharing my thoughts, feelings and adventures, I have been out in the back country of Ontario on a few camping, fishing and exploring trips and will eventually put that all in a post. Tracy, my wife, has started joining me and has jumped right in and has added a new element to my trips and I enjoy her company as we set out onto more and more challenging excursions. As a matter of fact right now there is three different dehydrators working their magic in front of me right now, lol. Our next trip together is less then a week away and we will be headed to Killarney, which is south of Sudbury, it should be a great time. People ask me if I get worried about heading into the back country because of my condition and that anytime a bowel obstruction could happen? My answer is of coarse it’s on my mind and I do everything possible to prevent it, such as making sure I drink a lot of water. The real answer is that without doing something I love to do, what would I do? Sit around all day feeling sorry for myself? What’s that going to accomplish? Stream Netflix all day?, No Thanks!

Honestly there is something so therapeutic out in the wilderness, on the water, carrying my gear from one lake to another, trying to get further and further away from modern today, just living out of a backpack. I think I have always been drawn to the water, whether it’s a swimming pool, river or lake. I can’t remember a part of my life not including one of those within close proximity. Now dealing with cancer, when I sit in my canoe or hike to a beautiful view point I find it easier to cope and can appreciate the small, simple things in life and just how little is needed to be happy and content. Just how fortunate I really am and that I’m happy to be here and can share my story freely and hopefully help someone else.

Now I’ve been writing for about four months here now, but while I’m out I’ve been also collecting lots of content, video and pictures, which has added a new element to my (our) trips. As I learn to edit and put reels together Tracy’s and my next goal is to start a YouTube channel full of interesting content, but more on that in the near future. Now that’s a quick update on what’s been going on, I’ll throw in a few pictures below here and you can see how this helps my mental and emotional worries.

Deep into August, it is also a appointment heavy month again in dealing wth my disease. I’ve already had my lab work done, just wait for the results with an appointment on the 22nd with my oncologist, needles(treatment) was done on the 11th and everything went smooth, no extra shot, whew… A new element has been added to my treatment and that’s an appointment(phone) with a physiologist, now going back in my past I’d be a guy who would tell you that I don’t need to tell anyone my problems and that this is basically a waste of time. I’m glad and proud to say that, boy was I completely wrong. I’ve had a couple talks with him now and I can’t wait until my next. getting asked the right questions by an expert, he calls from the Juravinski Centre, so deals specifically with cancer patients, is a relieve. After our talks it feels like a weight has been slightly lifted off my shoulders and is helping me come to terms with what comes next and is starting to give me the tools to control the emotional toll that all this takes on me or anyone who suffers from this. Although not always physically ill, the constant appointments, treatments, meetings and phone calls can cause a lot of stress and anxiety, it’s not something I outwardly show, but trust me it’s there. Learning how to deal with this will carry on for as long as I do, which I plan to do for a long time.

So I’ll leave it there for today, I promise there won’t be such a gap between posts go forward. The next one I will get back into my diagnosis, that part is almost done. You’ll see how important the right scans or tests are, as I’m fortunate enough to receive a GA68 scan, which still isn’t available to everyone, and how that scan showed exactly how far this cancer spread in me……unsettling!

Thanks for reading, Cheers!

4 thoughts on “I’m Still Here

  1. Have a wonderful and safe time enjoying nature!! Thanks for sharing your story and your fears in dealing with your disease. The psychological effects must be awful; so much to navigate and sort through. My daughter has half a heart and the process of getting her through the hurdles of getting stable took us for a heart wrenching ride. We thank God every day for bringing us this far but as a worried mom, I have PTSD and struggle in my own ways.
    God bless and take care!!!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Same to you!! Praying for strength and peace for you and your family.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Keep on keeping on ( Bear’s words)

    Liked by 1 person

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