It’s funny to think how far life has brought me, where’d I’d rather sit in the comfort of my place and continue write rather than head out to party and ring in the new year. I laugh at myself and think back of the ways I used to welcome the New Year in, in what seems not that long ago, but I guess a lot of those years are almost twenty plus years behind me. Where did that time go? In that blink of an eye I raised two young men and still look back at old photos to remind me yes, those years did exist, it wasn’t a dream as some days that’s exactly how it feels. My advice to anyone reading with young children at home is to take in every moment, they’re all so special. We’ve been invited to a few parties this year to celebrate, and we are both social people Tracy much more than I, but there’s something I find much more satisfying spending the day just with her and happiness behind the keyboard, being productive while I write something with meaning…from the heart. What a different person I’ve become over the years, the same, but not the same, an odd way to say it. But, if you’ve followed along over the year I think you know what I mean and what has forced some of that change, both good and bad…f*@king cancer. So writing is what I turn to and what helps when that stress and anxiety kicks in (especially waiting for results) and because well I love it and communicating with all my readers. All while attempting to raise some awareness towards this rare, sneaky and deadly type of cancer, Neuroendocrine tumours. Which I have many of, but has only given me a new resolve a toughness that was drawn out and now has given me a new outlook on life.
Well as you can see I started this about a week ago, had some momentum going and well, then, fell asleep after taking a brief rest after that first paragraph. Getting old I guess. My last post I used one word to sum up my year and I think it was a fair word, but this year needs to be different a bit more struggle to equal more excitement. We already have some travel plans to help make it that way and will be sure to include trip reports in this blog. In fact one of the reasons I’m a bit late releasing a opening post for the NewYear is we decided to take an impromptu trip to our nations capital, Ottawa. It was a mini three day adventure which I have mixed feeling about. While the Air BNB we stayed at was cute and cozy, the city, at least some of the parts we toured were, well…let’s just say it was an eye opener and I may do a full post on that getaway shortly, we’ll see. I read a quote recently and it’s one I’ve seen before that I kinda want to play off this year.
Everybody Dies, but not Everyone really Lives
As I’ve aged I find myself always thinking about the safe way to skate through life, whether it’s how I spend money, how I travel and where to, even how hard I push myself physically knowing there’s much more to give. Making sure the wind is calm or the river is still for canoe travel, not ever really testing my limits when deep down I know I have the skills, but not only that the will-power to overcome. Now some may see this as reckless? And maybe you’re right and to each their own, but I find myself questioning myself with the “what if?” or “why not?” more and more everyday. I stopped during a run lately at the bridge in my town to check the water level, January has been unseasonably warm and we’ve seen plenty of rain. The river was, I would say not raging, but moving at a fast pace and very high. As I sit here and type the thought of the thrill of tackling that flow of water gets me pretty excited with nervous energy and Sunday looks like the perfect day to give it a try, decent temperature, low wind and the water level should be down a bit, but still challenging. It’s not too often I’ll be able to get in an experience like this so close to home at this time of year.
So instead of making New Years resolutions, which are almost always broken within weeks or even days, make a list of goals. Keep them attainable, that way you’re not so hard on yourself if they can’t be completed. But, I would say don’t be afraid to always keep challenging yourself, the struggle is real and only leads to positive results. We still live in the age of complete convenience and just watching life pass by you by… well isn’t the way I want to do it. If reading this helps you get up off your butt and try something uncomfortable, well then I’ve done my job. Now I’m not saying everyday has to be awesome and out there doing something, this guy here needs more rest time than I think I ever have before and it’s worrisome, but also reminds that those days I’m feeling it, there’s no time to waste.
I wish you all the best this year and thanks for following along on my journey, I’m due for some results from my six month check within a week. So, for the next while I will keep busy and remain calm hoping for the best. Did I mention I turn 50 at some point this year, I hope to make it one worth remembering. Don’t forget to subscribe, like and or Comment on the blog site, help me spread this blog as far as I can.
1 thought on “Into The New Year, Leaving Nothing on the Table”
Like you, I find that writing helps me process this cancer thing and deal with the stress and anxiety that sometimes raises its ugly head. Have you heard the term scanxiety? (scan + anxiety = scanxiety) Hope you have good results to report soon!