My Caregiver, My Valentine

Often overlooked is this role of the primary caregiver to any cancer patient and I’m lucky enough to the most caring person I know in my corner. I mention Tracy often in my posts, but not specifically about her and what she does mean to me in my fight against cancer and life in general. We have known each other now for twenty-seven years and boy has she had her hands full with me to look after, lol. I’m not that bad??

She is the one to encourage me to find my own joy and peace in life, the one who also tells me when it’s time to cool my jets and have a rest. I think that part is her hardest job. She is there when I’ve had my very worst of days dealing with cancer, along with days that it feels we are winning. A shoulder to cry on and loving arms when I need an embrace…she is my rock.

When first diagnosed and Covid about, she was unable to come to almost all treatment, check-up or appointments, I could read the stress on her face when I’d leave alone, or she had to sit in the car and wait. Being my caregiver isn’t the easiest of jobs either, I’m a stubborn guy still refusing to listen inside sometimes when rest is required. I’ve had more than one phone call asking where I was??? Instead of resting. It’s that caring instinct of hers that I admire the most, while she always wants the best for me Tracy also understands that drive I have for life and adventure. Never standing in the way, but always reminding me to be safe and making sure I’m, looked after.

I’m a terrible gift giver, I’ll admit that, so this year I give the gift of words, thanks and Love. We have many plans and goals to accomplish in this life and have no idea how much time in which to pack it all into. She makes me a stronger and better person, her drive through all of our adversity makes me absolutely admire her. While just lounging around the house or away on a trip it is knowing she’s around that makes me feel whole, giving me more strength to fight and continue on. To make the proper diet decisions when the food she brings home is all about the fight against cancer makes me one lucky guy.

One of the toughest chicks I know, countless surgeries of her own prove that and still will always put someones else’s needs if front of hers. Sometimes to a fault, when she should be looking after herself as well. We have a very foggy, but at the same time clear vision into what kind of future we want and some plans in place to get there. None of that would be possible without her optimism and positive outlooks. The disease that resides in me can be an unpredictable beast ready to steal away hopes and dreams. One thing I have in my corner is the ultimate caregiver and with that thought planted firmly in mind, the outcome we’re after seems more likely than not.

It’s true that it takes a team to tackle this cancer, doctors, nurses, support groups, psychiatrists, close friends and family. But the most important part is my wife, the not so secret weapon that is forever at my side. Happy Valentines day to my caregiver, mother to my sons and soul mate whether it’s this world or the next. Thank you and I truly Love you Tracy.

Yours Forever, Steve.