Three Month Check-In, Urine Collect

For those of you who have followed along on this blog, or cancer journey every three months I have some kind of testing done to help confirm that the cancer has not a) become active or b) showing symptoms or signs of spread. The latest appointment is the basic blood work and twenty-four hour urine collect. Now although this quarterly test is the most simple and easiest, even after three years of dealing with this, there is something still embarrassing about carrying around a jug of urine. And you know what ya it is kinda funny to stroll down the sidewalk to the hospital with a huge jug full of pee, kind of makes me snicker while I write about it, but hey what’s anyone gonna say? I’m six foot, three inch almost back to 190 lb guy carrying around a container full of piss (to put it bluntly). It makes me stand out at the Cancer clinic in Brantford where I still go for check ups and the nurses know who I am based solely on this test, I believe only one or two other people under go this test at the clinic. The nurses know exactly who I am and it’s always good for a laugh when I drop the “golden liquid” off, as they put it.

I remember being mortified when I first had to do this collect and would do my best to hid it in a cloth bag so no one could see the contents. Now, although some small amount of embarrassment is still there, I proudly walk down the street (I park blocks away, too cheap to pay the rates) and into the hospital with just that jug buy the handle, not hidden anymore, in a way daring someone to ask about it. Knowing that no one would dare ask what’s in the jug, let alone why? I now carry that jug with a sense of pride, knowing that it is a way for my Oncologist to get a first look as to how the cancer is responding to and holding stable with the treatment he has me on.

Looking back I sometimes think that some of these test used to stress me out more than the cancer itself, oh how far I’ve come. Not gonna lie it’s not that fun, but easier to laugh at, a bland diet for three days leading up to the test, no coffee in the morning could be the worst. Then there’s the aiming, I’m not sure how the ladies do it and bravo to you, all I have to do is point and shoot and hell sometimes, not sure how? I end up with pee on my hand, thank god for soap and wash cloth nearby. Now thinking harder, “How do you ladies do it?” A big three litre jug, when all I need to do is just point and then let er rip. Just one more thing us men take for granted, a relatively simple test made more difficult by gender.

For this post I’ll spare any pictures no one need to see my full jug or drips off my fingers. I think it’s easier to make tests like this sometimes comical, we stress about enough about what we go through. This post wasn’t supposed to be like this, but honestly I like it a lot and am sure many can relate, even if you don’t have Neuroendocrine Cancer and have to submit to the 5hiaa testing. I sure we’ve all been through something medically embarrassing and humour can be some of the best medicine. I have written a lot of posts for many different reasons, some serious, some sad and some just to tell a story. I hope this one reaches many, for some reason I personally like it a lot. I don’t often smirk at what I’ve written, but this one has put a shit eating grin on my face, I hope it does to you as well and in spite of what your going though, a look on the lighter side sometimes can seriously help, especially your mental spirit. And yes, I’ve missed that jug in the middle of the night, swore really loud, only to find myself late at night on my hands and knees cleaning and laughing out loud.

Of all the ones I’ve written I ask you to share this on any social platform, many I feel can relate and we can all understand the frustration, take a light-hearted approach and laugh it truly is the best medicine. Subscribe, like, vote and comment. Love you all, Steve. Below is a link to my new YouTube channel give it a look, I hope to provide lots of content there as well. I guess I can only post links to videos until I get 100 subscribers, so help a guy out!