A Cancer Patient’s Story : Where it All Begins

I sometime feel lonely, yet I am not alone
I am afraid, although fearless is my tone
Empty my emotions can be, happy as for the world to see
My body feeling week, inside a presence of strength resides in me
Sadness can haunt my soul, but still happiness takes control
Sickness laying in wait, my resilience refuses to take the bait
Mind wonders what could be, will power makes it be
Live for now as you'll never know
What this life has in store

Steve Medhurst

A World i never thought possible

Introduction

Imagine sitting at home recovering from a major surgery, house empty all alone and on top of that the world has been shut down due to unknown virus. The staples in your gut dig in as you move to get comfortable, basically impossible. The wound itself has healed very nicely and now can take your small dog for a walk around the block. Thank goodness for this sitting around is creating insanity. The doctor had said that the operation went well and I figure it’s been close to five weeks, soon I’ll be prepping to get go back to work. I stand in my bedroom looking out my back window at my yard that needs some love. Then the phone rings…Brantford Hospital it says. “Hello”, I say cautiously, as if that matters. The other end responses, ” Hi, I’m an Oncologist with Hamilton Health Sciences would you be Stephen Medhurst?” “Yes” is all I can muster up caught off guard by the call. “Are you sitting down? I have something serious to tell you.” I move and sit on the corner of my bed. “You have cancer and a rare one called at that called Nueroendocrine cancer (tumors) and look back at your CAT scans it has spread and it’s stage 4. Feeling like this isn’t real I ask, “Doesn’t that mean it’s terminal or die?” ” Yes and I’m sorry to have to call you about this, but I’m in Hamilton and I need you get to the hospital now and get paperwork for treatment so we can get started.” “Is there a timeline for me?” I ask unsure of what is really going on. “The science I have right now tells me about 10 to 15 years.” I hang up the phone, stunned, confused, empty. Down the stairs I slowly make my way to the front door, I pause grabbing the handle, tears start to fill my eyes. My whole life has changed on a five minute phone call.

Everything changed in an instant

I’ve been home now about four weeks. My body still sore, but my strength is returning to me as I’m allowed to eat more. I feel like this chair has grown to be a part of me after spending the better part of my time sitting in it after surgery. Like my tent now, it’s like a fortress of solitude. Three weeks ago the world shut down the Covid-19 pandemic had arrived and for me I had nowhere to go anyway. My father had flown in to help around the house, now long gone before all air travel was halted and not wanting to get stuck. Made his way back to Alberta basically just in time.

My operation was on March 4, 2020 at 6:30 am. My wife Tracy and I had been going through a rough patch at that time, but in her caring nature she and our oldest boy accompanied me to the hospital. It’s a short walk from my home to there I remember the smell of early fresh summer air. I’m nervous as I reach for the door, I’ve never had surgery before and this one is major. We are separated as I’m due to be prepped, a quick kiss from Tracy before I leave them reminds me of what I miss. Laying on a bed now my nerves are calmed by the two Ativan the nurse gives me, I’d say actually pretty buzzed. My family is brought back to me and we share a laugh at the state I’m in and the large, hot air mattress laid upon me to warm me up before surgery. Two nurses come get me and help escort me into the sterile room. They ask me sit on the table and lean forward to put in the needle for an epidural , I they lay back and that’s all I remember.

This is just a trial run of how I would possibly start my book, along with a poem thrown in. Any suggestions of what you think good or bad would be appreciated. Most of you have followed this journey since I started writing, so I value any input. I’m a beginner and blogging is much different than actually creating a book. Subscribe, like and vote also. Oh and please share I could use the help. Cheers.