Hello…..I Hope You’re Still All There…

Just when you thought breaks wouldn’t get any longer, here I am. Hoping I still have some readers out there interested in what is happening in this life of mine. Understanding that ya, every once in a while a writer (blogger) can take a break I have been meaning many times open this laptop and get things rolling again. So….if you’re still here and willing to follow along I have a lot to talk about and hope my words can still lift spirits and inspire anyone feeling that life just isn’t working out for them.

We’ll keep this first back to work post relatively short with a brief health update and quick look into my life that has become a bit more private, for the time being, When starting over again everything changes, so we’ll try a restart this blog. Don’t worry, sane guy, same diagnosis, just different situation and shifted life goals and partner to share those views with.

The Reasoning behind my Break

Well, my most precious commodity was spending the summer getting to know someone very special. Making sure we’re on the same page, same outlook, short and long-tern goals aline and the most important part a truly open and honest line of communication. Both being close to or above our fifties there simply is no room for bull shit, period. We also met via the World Wide Web, which can be a whole topic itself. How does a fifty year old man with stage IV cancer date online, the thought even makes me laugh inside.

What a crazy world! So, let me tell ya if yo think it’s impossible to find someone later in life, you’re wrong. Sometimes things just align and the flow of a new relationship can be almost flawless, sounds too easy right. That’s what we thought, but in a life that can bring you, your share of lemons (in every aspect of life). Eventually the juice is worth the squeeze and finally a sweet glass of lemonade is dropped into your life.

I’ll get back to this subject later, although writing this blog is a very important part of my life sometimes like everything in life it takes a backseat. Especially when given the opportunity to restart, reset and learn to be happy again. When I say happy, I mean a different kind of happiness it’s a feeling that really has no words. The best way to describe it would be your entire body feels calm, no longer battling with certain stressors, a warm embrace that makes you feel safe. A comfort in life not really ever known before.

The Health Update

The most question I get when taking a long break is, “Are you alright? I hope you’re doing ok?” And I love that my readers care enough and are invested that much in my story to take their time to text, email or message, it’s awesome. After being so open and public about my disease and all that goes into it and my ever changing life I do honestly feel bad for being off the radar for that long.

It was time though to take that break, enjoy some private time. Recharge the batteries and just check out of the socials for a while. I still hear, still wanting to share, just once again ever evolving into what I hope is a better version of me. So, along with the reason above it was important to take a bit of a mental health break. Do my best to shut everything down, be mindful and refocus. Stress and anxiety are a killer and taking that time and enjoying those moments, privately were important. My body has never quite felt this type of peace and safety, the mind just starts to naturally follow that path as well. But, there is always more work to do.

As for my medical update there has been some change. A few months ago we went to get my CAT scan in London, first time done there. Enter back in the dreaded barium drinks, no choice in flavour here. It’s a flavourless peach. I choke both cups back, yuck! The rest of the scan is routine, the IV is put in and the contrast is pumped through the body. Making you feel like you’ve just pissed yourself. Ten minutes and you’re out and on the way home.

A specialist called me this time first, it seems I have a small amount of growth in the lower left quadrant of my abdomen. It’s difficult to read the scan I’m told, so the more precise Pet/Net scan is ordered and two later I’m sitting in the nuclear medicine area of the hospital. I’ve explained this one before, but quickly, a radioactive isotope is injected in me, I wait an hour and then put under the scanner, which looks very similar to the CAT machine. You mention the word nuclear and people sometimes think this must be an awful test, probably really hard on the body. Honestly, I’d take this scan over the CAT any day of the week. No stomach issue afterwards, the radiations starts to dissipate after the hour and I’m usually ready to eat shortly afterwards.

Five days later the specialist calls again, yup it’s confirmed I have some mild growth and he will be bringing my case before the tumour board to see what the next course of action will be, if any? Two days after that phone call my regular oncologist calls, so ya this guy has no complaints about our health care system. He tells me the same info, just more detail and it is reassuring news. The growth is millimetres and only in a couple spots, after close to six years and only taking Sandostatin this is pretty fortunate. His advice to me is, ” Even if they suggest the next step in treatment I would hold off for now, nothing has spread or grown to the point I’m worried.”

About after a week’s time the specialist calls again and my case has been once again presented to the tumour board. I’m unsure at this point what I’m going to do or even if I’ve been approved for further treatment. “Hello Stephen, the doctor says” and after we exchange pleasantries he gets down to business. “Based on what we are seeing the recommendation is…..

Be Sure to Follow Along

Ya, I know this may be a bit cruel, but I’m sitting here still healthy enough to write, so you’ll get the full update then. Plus gives me a great reason to keep up this important part of my life. It’s been almost five month and I have missed this. I’m the same guy, just longer hair and a little heavier. My physical and mental health are still of the upmost importance to me and that trend will once again start to continue. Life will once again changed in the upcoming future and. you’ll have to keep reading to see where it takes me. For now thanks for reading, please drop a comment. like and subscribe. Cheers, STEVE