Embracing Life’s Portages: Finding Your True Path

I sit here and often ask myself why do I write this blog? Why do I share my story with anyone willing to listen? It’s much easier just to be, say for lack of a better word…ordinary. Have you ever felt like this life has something more for you. Being ordinary is well, boring. I don’t by any means say that to offend anyone who enjoys the life they have. From an early age we are taught a specific order in how we should normally go about life. School, college, spouse, get a good job, kids, house, save and retire. Doesn’t work that way, that drilled in expectation is flawed. Look around, how many truly happy faces do you see nowadays? Are you happy? It’s a very hard question to answer and everyone’s version of happiness will be totally different.

But, if you’re not happy or even if you feel life has more to offer than the status quo you live now, how on earth do you change it? I’m not here to offer up any type of a solution, maybe just plant a seed. If you choose to water it and see it grows, who knows what this life could potentially happen? Snap your fingers and BANG you’re fifty, at least it feels that way to me. How on earth did it happen so fast? What is my purpose? I often find myself asking this question, who am I to give advice? Well look around now, we have a world full of people giving you insights, the unattainable levels of lifestyle you can have….for a price, it’s bull shit. Or most of it anyway, very few have lived a life that gives them the credibility to tell you how to live yours. Fake…and they prey upon the insecure, hurt, vulnerable.

This is a small blogging site I’m no expert in life, I’ve made so many mistakes and continue to do so, but I’m honest and I ask nothing in return. I have found happiness in most aspects of my life, but there is still voids to fill and there always will be. Ever evolving by failing is my way of finding my way down the portage of life. Sure, you can take the quick and easy route, flat, straight and short. Mine, while by no means the toughest ever, has been tougher. Full of up and down travels, sometimes endless blow down to block the way, mud to make my footing tricky. I’m still heading down this portage and I embrace it, without all those obstacles I wouldn’t be here right now. In this moment. Along the way that backpack gets lighter, as you learn to live the only the necessary items. Stuff you no longer need can be left behind. Beauty is found along that tough path too making a painful task, enjoyable and soon enough you’ll make it to the lake and be sure to take to bask in the beauty there. Soon enough time moves on and will present you with the next portage and it’s your choice how to approach it.

Health Update Continued…

I know, it was pretty jerky of me to just leave it the way I did. The break I took was so long though I feel I had to leave you hanging in hopes everyone would return. And you did, thanks! Okay, we were getting to the point of whether I required further treatment PRRT or not. My timeline is a little fuzzy, due to lack of summertime journaling. I think late September I received a phone call from the specialist again, with the results and consulting with the tumour board. They were in agreement again and although there had been mild growth, no further treatment is needed at this time.

Good news, however for the foreseeable future I will now monitored even closer. With a CAT scan booked already for January 14th, it seems we may going to four month scans, yuck… What this means to me is, yes, the next step is coming, but can I do anything to help myself fighting back along with the help of medical professionals. I wrote a blog a while back titled shrinkage, https://stephenmedhurst.ca/2023/08/23/shrinkage-how-did-we-get-here/

So, it is possible to get these tumours to shrink own my own, I know the medicine I receive has done the trick in the past and kept me stable. My diet is still pretty good, I eat in moderation maybe just a little more than I used to. Going from 175 to 203 lbs in six months, at 6’3″ I’m hardly overweight. We’ve been active over the same period, however, one thing has kind of gone by the wayside. For that just refer to the title of this blog site. Running or jogging took a backseat, things like this happen when life changes course. Instead of being hard on myself for failing to keep on this important habit (exercise), I have just dusted off the shoes. After staring at them for ten minutes that resiliency that got me to where I am now takes over.

Even though I’m not super consistent yet, I’ve started. Let me tell ya with twenty five extra pounds it’s quite a bit hared than I remember. My lungs burn, legs feel like stone after five kilometres and the pace is much slower. It sucks! But, I come home or whenever I end my run, look at or remember that piece of paper I have taped to my mirror, do something that sucks every day. You’ll enjoy the small victories.

I tell myself these small victories will win this war, the invisible one inside my body. This story I said will be a long one. Most people have a choice to make everyday on how to approach life, others, like myself understand the stark reality of longevity. I made a promise to someone that I will be around for a long time, while understanding that promise is out of my hands, the one thing I can do is approach everyday with a”be better” attitude. Not too long ago I looked in the mirror and wondered who was staring back at me. Now, I found that man again and looking into the mirror I tell myself, “There is too much to live for, I have been through a lot, could’ve given up, thrown that towel in I have an easy out, hell I got stage IV cancer. Something inside me tells me “NO” this won’t and hasn’t been easy, but there ain’t giving up!!

Ask yourself the same question…..look deep inside, what more is there??

Thanks for reading, if you like the content please share, like, subscribe and drop me a comment I’d love to hear from you. Cheers, Steve.