Living with Cancer: My Daily Growth and Reflections

We start the new year with a clean plate, so we think. Many times I have told myself this year will be different. I will try this or do that, get fit and ya, it can last for that short while as that quick acting inspiration to be better, nicer, take no shit attitude or actions last. For me? This doesn’t work well, while last year started as one of my strangest and most foreign, you can read about it in past posts if you like, it ended in one of by far the best years I had or that I can remember. It was by far the type of year I planned out, but such as life sometimes it brings you what you want, when it’s needed. It was a much more private year for myself as I cultivated this new life and many of the parts of my life that made me who I am today took a back seat. Not forgotten of course, but as a new journey is laid out in front of you it’s hard not to focus on who you are now becoming. In a better version of yourself. So, these tools i.e. this blog, jogging and even some camping was put on hold, never forgotten. We just needed this time to…grow, learn, love.

As I Try To Improve

So I start off the year with a mantra, " There is still a better version of me, one that lies inside, everyday I will improve. Not giant leaps, but baby steps there's an incredible life waiting for me." 

With that said here I am better than the day before. I will make no resolutions to blog more or run more, I just will. Ya, I’ve said this before and nothing over the course of the year has changed, I am just now ready to put it all back out there, well most of it. Realizing I’m a Stage IV cancer patient with a story to tell and battles to win. This blog helps with my mindset and keeps me honest, holds me accountable. Just because my life has changed and in a very good way, doesn’t mean these, call them habits, hobbies, loves can’t follow me into the future. Coming to realize once again how important writing is to me and understanding that by telling this story for all to read could help someone is a gift given to me by this illness.

There will be more posts this year, with more thought put into them. We all need to set goals in life, meeting these goals creates will-power. Without that will-power improvement can never be made. It’s simple to take the easy road, but is that how you want your life to go? By challenging myself and yes although I love to write, my challenge is to create the time to put a thoughtful post on the blog to keep you informed, inspired and thinking. Hopefully, no not hopefully, I will grow my audience and let people know that living with cancer is, yes a curse and awful. Also freeing and if you let it allow you to see this world as most others don’t. There can be so much beauty in the smallest of things. Even with so much shit in the world (I’m not immune to watching the news, although it’s being fazed out) even my problems aren’t as bad as most. I took a walk today and when I was told to look up at the clouds, I saw what she meant. Just a glance up, in that moment it was there, beauty. We are often all too caught up in ourselves and this fast paced life to take the time to just look up or around. It’s there, take that time and slow life down even if it’s an instant.

My Health

This will be a short paragraph, I’m fine…lol. Sorry that’s not really funny, but as I sit here writing my mind and mental health have become very good. It doesn’t just happen though I work on it daily now, though silent reflection, reading, journaling, I talk with a therapist and yes, I do take a low dosage medication to help. Never be ashamed of asking for help and feel free to message me if you’re hurting. Sometimes it’s very difficult, but you have to put in the work, no different than exercising your body for physical health.

Since the last post nothing in the cancer world has changed. There was still very minimal growth that we wait and see what happens. Scans will become a bit more frequent for the next while I believe as it gets monitored. Next one is soon, January 14, a CAT scan, then the results the next day.

What This Year will Bring

These posts over the last year have been basically writing, which will always be the core. As I look into what more I can do with this site and continue to grow, there is a lot I can do. Over the next while I will study what new features I can add and bring a little more say, colour to the blog. I’ve dusted off my camera and will added more photo galleries. Another add to the site will be the return of my videos, they were something I cherished and loved sharing. So, this year I have made some plans already and will bring some great content your way. I thank you all for sticking with me through the very slow last year and for anyone new here go ahead and subscribe, it costs nothing and helps get my message out there. Drop me a comment, vote and like the content. It all helps more than you thinks. For all of you who click the link through Facebook, please feel free to comment directly on the post itself. I will almost always answer. Thanks and Cheers, Steve