Rediscovering Joy: My Journey as a Writer

I'm on this rock but once
 so much to do, so much to see
Taken some time to refind me
Now let's just see where this leads
Whether you like what I write, say or do
I simply just don't care
We are who we are if you can't accept that
I'm not here to impress, just to give back

Man I’ve tried to be much more active for some weird reason I find myself avoiding my laptop. Not sure why? I still love writing and telling my story, my journey. Lately nothing has been coming to me. Life is still great, my health has stood the test of time still. I have some pretty big news coming up and camping season is just around the corner. The engagement I get from all my readers brings a smile to my face. Maybe it’s when life is content the ideas just don’t flow as easy. There’s no dramatic event to report on, it’s just my thoughts and sometimes it’s hard to unlock them from my full mind, down to my fingers and ultimately to this screen. It’s time to start grinding, keep at it and learn. No quitting allowed in any part of my life this is who I’ve become, the guy behind this story. The guy most people figured would be the last to be a writer. English is hard. Some topics are even harder to speak about, uncomfortable, thought provoking. As a man just over fifty my mortality has been challenged by a silent killer. One that sat in wait for years, one that still sits there waiting for me to drop my guard. Like a prize fighter in the twelfth round running on fumes and that guard drops just for a second. He finds himself on the mat staring at the stars, fight is over, he’s lost. Well my friends we are only in the early rounds, time to put excuses behind me, focus, reload and coming out swinging. Losing is not an option.

The Question of Value, Again

My last post started to touch on the importance of value. I’ve always said TIME is the most important commodity. Well, the question of value is one that been on my mind for a while now. Value as in who deserves that time. Most of our lives we spend trying to be valued, home, work, social and stress if we’ve done enough. We want to be liked, included sometimes at any cost. Get that promotion regardless of the price paid. Is it worth it? How many people actually really value you? Odds are it’s low.

It’s like going through your Facebook or Instagram profile, go ahead scroll through it. How many add real value to your life? Odds are a lot are there for drama or to argue any point not to their liking. Causing you to waste that precious Time we know eventually runs out. Is it worth it to fire back in response, probably not.

A Chance to Kickstart this Blog

Well I feel like I was really on to something there. Once again the start of this post was oh…about a month ago. Super procrastinator Steve took over and as the opening sentence in the post stated I once again avoided my computer. It’s become far too easy for me to push tasks off, blaming it on say just my life over the last year. Been busy between two homes basically and learning how to settle in a new life. The hard part is it’s too easy to make an excuse and just up and quit writing…thought about it. Thought about just retreating and going about my life privately and quietly. A lot of things have changed, but the one thing that hasn’t is my Cancer.

Therefore here we are again reminding myself as I mentioned earlier grinding this writing thing out until it becomes natural again. Another fresh start, another angle to tell my story which will always revolve around why I started in the first place a rare terminal illness. As I relocate again, soon I’ll let ya know where I am, life has started to settle and the very sparse posts over the last year don’t reflect on me as a person at the core.

In this type of reset the blog is going through it will show a little of how I got to where I am at this moment. More importantly though it will once again be an attempt to show that resiliency I have hoped to convey over the years of writing. We are closing in on five years of the blog and that means I’ve overcome this disease almost six. Wow! six f@cking years with cancer. I have a lot to be thankful for and still yet much more to accomplish. I feel like although I’ve had this for a while now it’s like a new start. In the last year, new oncologist, new health care team, new life partner, new family, new home. Thinking about it this way all sometimes seems overwhelming and without the support I’ve had it certainly could be.

But here I am the same old me, just trying to make smarter choices, be a better human, say a 2.0 version of me, lol. Spring seems to have arrived and seems no better time for a re-birth, so buckle for a ride this year. I’ve already travelled to Mexico and Costa Rica during, let’s say my quiet period, a chance for me to just keep some things to myself. With warmth in the air the canoe camping/exploring bug is back in my bones. After taking a season off books are being read and maps explored as I decided where my travels both solo and with partners will take me. One thing is certain, this year you will be coming along. Both in writing and on video, as I’ve upgraded some equipment, thanks to a certain someone.

Keep following along and I appreciate everyone who takes the time to read and drop me a comment. As I settle in my thoughts and actions or whatever pops into mind will be back here on display. I forgot how difficult it is to put yourself out there. My main focus is still the same, maybe someone who needs this will find it and understand your not alone in this battle with a complex disease.