2 Months In

Well like the title says, I made it to my second month of blogging, I’m far to stubborn to stop. I first like to thank everyone who’s stopped by and gave this a read. I’m going to continue telling my original story, but think I will jump off the rails more often then not, as my last couple posts generated quite a few views and they were more straight from the heart, opinionated blogs. To all that have subscribed, like and commented, thank you for your time and thoughts and your opinions. I have said before I feel we as people(humans) have lost the art of civil conversation and there’s nothing I love more then a great conversation and even an intelligent debate and boy couldn’t we all us that now.

Today I entered the hospital to the usual covid screening questions, new normal, make the left, right, left to the cancer clinic, it’s already been three months since my last check up and update. I’m greeted by a friendly, “hello, Stephen, yes I’m unfortunately well-known there now. They take my weight and direct me to the open computer and there I sit and complete a series of questions based on my well-being and feelings. Before having cancer I would’ve thought this a joke and been close minded towards it, boy have things changed and there’s something to expressing your emotions and feelings and it’s like a weight taken off my shoulders. I take a seat in the waiting area, a very nice volunteer comes and makes some small talk with me, it’s very engaging and she says she is retired and loves to come here and help out, trying to make patients more comfortable. I listen to her and can’t help but to start almost tearing up, waiting for an update takes an emotional toll itself and for these kind people to be there for support is well….overwhelming.

Sitting, waiting for an update is well, terrifying. I don’t feel to bad, lately I’ve been tired and worn down, just over a year in I feel like a just need a brake, but they’ll never be one, the cancer will never go away…so I just deal. The nurse always asks a series of questions, so she can go a prep with the oncologist on how I seem to be doing. I have a fantastic medical team and a great Oncologist, she is fairly young and listens as well as informs me of where we need to go with my treatment. My results today are positive, although none of my lab work is in (the usual) and she always calls to update me when they come in. The CT scan has shown again that there is no change in the size or amount of tumors, whew! So, we agree the treatment I’m receiving now seems to be working, ( the sandostatin needles), and if I haven’t mentioned this before those are almost $5,000 every 28 days, imagine having no health coverage or benefits? This could be just another added super stress.

I leave the hospital feeling relieved, that’s 2 appointment in a row where everything is stable and the Doctor is happy how things are progressing. A little of the stress leaves on the walk back to the car, I’m still worn down, and I’ve had trouble holding my focus for the past few weeks, my runs help and writing this forces me to concentrate and gather thoughts. I head back to work, yes I’m still working, the day passes by just fine, then my phone rings at 2, it’s the hospital. They calling from my Oncologist’s office to set up my next appointment for August….and the routine starts all over again.

Now, I’m very grateful for the attention I get from me team and by no means will I ever complain about that, it’s just getting used to all this, I try to be very positive about it, but boy sometimes I could sure use a break and I’ve just started down this what I hope to be very long road….there is no finish line…..

Well I planned at getting back to my original story on this post, but this one here just seemed to write itself. Once again thank you for clicking on this blog, and oh as you can see I made some serious money, lol. Cheers! I have lots more to say!