Ok, so I’m one day late to post a blog and I could make an excuse as to why not? Hell, I’m on vacation, so I don’t need to do this….well wrong! Writing has become an important part of, should I say my new identity and it’s important for me to tell this story, and I enjoy it. I could sit here and tell you I’m not a writer and that makes an excuse for me not to consistently bang post’s. My identity is changing and will continue too, it was forced to change because of cancer, but I can also choose to for the same reason. It has given me a chance to not be my old self and follow the same thought patterns. I would never have blogged had it not been for my illness, it has given me strength to not really give a shit what people think of my writing and the content I push out.
If we go back to high school and ask one of my English teachers, “Do you think Steve would ever be a writer?” The answer would be a look of shock, followed by a good ten minute or longer laugh and you know what I wouldn’t blame them. I was terrible in school, English and all my classes. I had no sense of self and no direction on where I wanted to go. I have changed jobs and professions throughout my life based on need and not want. A need for safety, security and basically just did what I had to do to make a living.
That’s the past know and this post is how things can and will be in my future, if I believe I’m a writer and say I’m a writer, then what does that make me? I have a lot to learn, hell I still struggle to get views and have no real idea how to get my message out there? But, I’m learning and will continue to improve on this, I’m already surprised how my typing has come along. I was a guy on the shop floor, when sending an e-mail used the old Peter pointer method and took forever to get out what I was saying.
I want keep putting relevant material in these posts, how to make life better as a cancer patient….it’s a tough question to answer. Life is better when you can learn to let go….and it’s starting to happen, soon one Tracy and I will be on the road and I want to share all our experiences with whoever chooses to read and follow along. It’s going to be a hell of a journey.
For know though, I sit here on the patio of our timeshare in Florida, it’s beautiful and it’s been far too long since we’ve been here. For two years Covid put a stop on our annual drive down here and finally late into this year we got to do our cross country trip?, would you call it cross country or north – south trip? Either way it’s a 24 hour haul down 1 province and 5 states and by the time we arrive my ass is pretty sore, but to step out in the sun? Oh, boy it’s worth it! My wife is a great travelling companion, but I don’t think she was getting enough sleep over the last few weeks, months? I’ve never seen her sleep so much in a vehicle….ever. Lol, it was funny and to be honest I didn’t mind.
My last class of CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) finished up on Wednesday, last week and the time driving in the silence was a chance to use the tools I learned to test myself, while I was alone and in my head. I was able to sort out thoughts and help establish myself a system to start to live by, I’m also being moved to LTD (long term Disability), so I needed that time to start to figure how to create more of these habits that will keep me on track and give me sense of purpose, and it all starts with being consistent for my readers and myself. My habits and system will now start to define the person who I want to be moving forward and this is only the start, no more late post…no more excuses.
I’m a writer, that’s part of what I am now…act like it.
If you tell yourself what you are, you may be surprised to……just believe and start. It’s never to late.
I don’t mean to rub it in, but the weather is great down here, we have been enjoying ourselves and will continue for the rest of the week, maybe longer??? Universal Studios is one of my favourite places….blog on the soon. Love to all! Cheers.