Hi again everyone, I really wish I’d keep get my butt in gear and not fall so behind publishing these posts. Going back to read my prior blog kinda annoys me and you’d think keep me on track as to what I’m doing here. It’s been a couple of weeks again, so a quick recap of my activities is in order. Number one is I’ve had results from the latest scan and bloodwork. Actually saw my oncologist instead of a resident. But, I’ll make you read longer before any results. Went on my first solo canoe camping trip in about two years…it felt different, but was still amazing. Also just like the post talked about and I will continue on, adjusting to life after a big move and a new start on life.
Tripping Again
A couple weeks ago I packed my gear and headed back up to where my love of the backcountry started, Algonquin park. I felt it right that should be the place to dip my toe back in again. The familiarity of it helps with confidence, along with well mapped out routes and (for the most part) well marked out. Meaning most portages and campsites are clearly marked. However the further you venture the more you’re on your own. Always have a map, compass and nowadays some kind of gps or satellite device. I picked a route that I had completed before, one that was challenging enough, but not so hard as to possibly defeat me due to my two year gap. It was filled with a little bit up anything the park can throw at you. Some bigger water, small isolated lakes, both easy and short portages, along with long and rugged ones. Down and up river travel filled with downed trees and plenty of beaver dams.
I picked the week after our heat dome here in southwestern Ontario, but the weather was still extremely hot. Along with that the bugs were on high alert and after my blood. I sweated out seven pounds and travelled about 100km over the six days. At times the heat and bugs getting to me to the thought of giving up entered my mind. Food, rest and above all water is key is retaining a grind-it-out mindset. I encountered six moose along the way, all in the river systems. Beavers, birds, hooked into many fish, including a brook trout that made for a much needed shore lunch on a long day two.
I did film quite a bit of it, but by day five that drive seemed to fade. I don’t know exactly what caused that feeling to come over me. Like I said before, I feel like my life is a bit more private now. Adjusting to how I feel and what I’m willing to share is something I’m still processing. My trip ended in a day of pouring rain and about 15 km to paddle and portage out. It was more than welcome after five straight days of blazing heat, with no breeze. Anyone who had been in Algonquin knows five days of no wind is almost unheard of.
It’s funny how feelings can change about certain things quickly. Coming to the end of the trip I felt like solo tripping was something I no longer needed and felt content in that moment with my decision. Feeling like my life is already full now it was just something that I maybe before it was there to fio a void. Like I said I am still always adjusting. Yet as soon as I was packed up and headed home the thought of when can I get back here quickly entered my mind. I maybe didn’t need this anymore, I wanted it and that my friends is much more important. I was slightly disappointed with myself in not capturing the whole trip, however it was a start. Getting back in front of the camera alone after two years did feel awkward, but hey a lot of people ask about the trip. Sitting here I do realize I need to take my own advice I’ve mentioned here, although it’s been a while.
Do what you love to do, not what you have to do. The world needs people who love what they do!
So there ya have it, I’m here writing doing what I love to do and writing about what I love to do. Understanding that my love for the outdoors is not gone, just different, because my life is different. We can’t and shouldn’t change because everything isn’t the same. It’s adjusting. Soon I will be back out in my canoe tryin to show those willing to watch that cancer won’t prevent my from living a very full and happy life.
Now for A Health Update
About a month ago I had my regular six month CAT scan, this time at 9:30 p.m., weird… the plus being the hospital is much quieter. It was about a two week wait to hear back form the nuclear radiologist who is following me, for now. It was a quick call from one of his residents, which is common practise in London or any bigger centre. If it’s not bad news that has seemed to be how it goes. She didn’t give me that much information just that everything seemed to be stable. Since I had an appointment in a week’s time with my regular oncologist in person they figured it would be better to bring me up to speed when I saw him.
A week later I’m back at the hospital, first off is blood. Now I’m still getting used to this as you have to pull the ticket and wait in line. Twenty numbers before me, it was a busy day. After blood we wait until my number is called and into the waiting room we go. A nurse comes to visit first asking about any symptoms or pain, something maybe new since my last visit. They always quickly touch on my mental health as well. My answers are the same I feel pretty normal, I’m more anxious when around sooo many sick people. It’s hard to be in a place where you know this may be someone’s last day or visit. The reality of my disease is amplified, even though I know there’s a lot of life left in me. It’s a sobering reminder. One of the residents then comes to chat, usually gives results and I’m on my way. This time my Doctor wants to see me. After a very long wait he comes in. I like my oncologist a lot. He’s very engaging and thorough, asks again how I’m feeling. Very energetic, not always common with Doctors. The results are in. He tells me everything is very stable, if fact so much so that he suggests we can space out my CAT scans yearly. This is great news, after six years my standard of care is doing the opposite. Even though it’s stage IV I’ve been giving some grace, less stress about scan results. I wish I could tell everyone what I seem to be doing right. Honestly I have no clue.
Do me a big favour, if you like the content please don’t be afraid to share. Drop me a comment here. Leave a name or it comes through as anonymous. Like and about all please subscribe. I think I have a message here that people would relate to, getting it out to the world is the real challenge. In this day and age good news is hard pressed to come by. Let’s try and change that.
I will still get some bloodwork done at the six month interval just as a precaution, but my blood has been pretty good for the last five years. So, now I ask myself what will I now be blogging about in the meantime. I have a year until I can give another health update. What it gives me is the opportunity to dig a little deeper. Write about important topics to me and you. What is paramount is I post more often. I’ve been told people enjoy my writing style and the way I present myself here on the World Wide Web. Remembering why I’m here in the first place. Yes, cancer can take away life sadly, but it can also remind you how to live a full life. I’m sure I’ve been given much more time than mu original diagnosis. Now I need to fill it with what makes me happy. You my readers are a big part of that.
Cheers, Steve
Cancer Won't Run My Life 